shame

2004-04-14 / 9:04 a.m.

It was bad, I know. I shouldn�t have done it�but even though I know it was wrong, it felt so right. Yes, yes�I know, I promised�but I�m weak. It�s hard to stick to resolutions on a day like today. It was so hot, and I was kind of depressed; and there it was, calling to me. "Emmy�Emmy�.Ven�, ven�. Es martes, y las entradas est�n m�s barata hoy�" And I did heed the call�all the way to the boleter�a, where the handsome faces of Ben Stiller and Luke Wilson shone down upon me. Yes (she says, hanging her head in shame) I saw an American movie. And it wasn�t even aboutArgentina. Starsky and Hutch. In English. But oh, I needed it. And while it wasn�t as funny as I was hoping, it had its moments. 22% less gloomy after the film. At least.

Schigitty Strawberry. Did some researching about going to Cordoba, and it�s going to be cheap as hell if I do it bear minimum. I think I�m going to buy my bus tickets Monday, as well as reserve a bed in the hostel. I plan to go either May 7 or April 30. I need to figure out when my midterm exams are so I have time to study for them.

Ah, added bonus: got my room assignment. Swingin� single. Loft. Sweetness.

Bought clothes today. One practical black wrap around oxford to wear with skirts and dress pants to go out. One � tee. One cheap-o sweater for when it gets super cold (read: under 50 F). One denim jacket, because with a wardrobe mostly composed of tee shirts, I can�t function without layers. My mom is going to kill me. Fortunately, I�m a bazillion miles away, and therefore hard to strangle.

picture for yesterday�s entry

2004-04-13 / 11:49 a.m.

a moto photo

Sports and wine

2004-04-13 / 9:12 a.m.

I�m not much in the mood to write now, but seeing as I can�t do my homework; it seems like a good enough option. Any why can�t I do my homework, you ask? Because I can�t find it. I went to the photocopiadora to pick up my texts, but they didn�t seem to have the ones I needed. I�m hoping that this is an error on the part of the professor, and not my own. If the former is the case, then no one will be able to read it, and things will be okay. If the latter�umm, suckage. The whole photocopiadora system is absolutely divine. Whereas in the good ole� U S of A, I�d fork over hundreds of dollars for textbooks, here the professors leave originals of the texts at the photocopier place, and you just buy the photocopies of the salient parts of the book, journal, or whatnot. Perhaps a little less environmentally sound, as I don�t think anyone sells or gives away photocopies, but definitely more economical.

But the point of the story is that I don�t have the reading I need for Wednesday.

My Semana Santa weekend was pretty interesting. Thursday, I went to Tigre with the Brit (who I think is pretty pissed off at me unfortunately�but that comes chronologically way way later, and the story isn�t worth relating�Thursday things were copasetic). Anyway, Tigre is a neat part of Buenos Aires. It�s about an hour away by train, and it�s a barrio right on the river�practically in the delta. The people who live right on the waterways have little boats to travel up and down the inlets of the river. Not that there aren�t streets and other fun pieces of infrastructure on the non-river side, but there are some places that I imagine are easier to get to by boat when you live right on the delta. The houses were all pretty small, but neat. I get the sense that it�s a good place for a weekend home or the like. On the boat tour that we took, I saw lots and lots of property for sale or rent, and I�ve decided that it would be a decent place to live out my dream of being a restaurant owner. � Though I think that I would prefer to open up a restaurant in a big city. Maybe once I have my first successful opening, I�ll open a smaller, cozier eatery in Tigre. Unfortunately, about halfway through the boat ride, a HUGE storm with gale force winds popped up. This was un fun, and I was completely drenched. After the boat ride, the rain subsided, and the Brit and I went to the big farmer�s market there. I bought three kiwi fruit, a big fucking grapefruit and 1 pomegranate (as the host family and I were having a discussion about Greek mythology the other day-- they couldn�t remember what fruit Persephone ate and I didn�t know the name for it in Spanish. The purchase was in the name of cross cultural bonding)

Friday I putzed around and didn�t do anything remarkable.

Saturday was Colonia. Colonia was somewhat disappointing. Maybe it�s because the weather was dreary, or maybe because I was alone all day, but I got kinda� bored. I would have liked to spend a few hours there, but not the whole day. Plus, the ride on the slow ferry was looooooong, and while I slept on the way there, it was impossible on the way back because I was sitting to a very noisy baby. Heh, the highlight of Colonia was definitely when I ditched the guided tour and decided to explore the itty bitty city alone. The main coolness of Colonia is that it has a lot of architecture and museums from the colonial era (go figure) and also a fairly pretty riverbank. Rather than walking though, I decided to splurge and rent a moto. Tooling around Colonia in a moped was fun. I rented my moped, and got a quick lesson on its operation. Before the owner left me on my own, I signaled for him to wait a second�.got out my dictionary, flipped through until I found the world for �helmet� and asked if I needed one. He got a good laugh out of that. Another un-fun run-in in Colonia was with a very patriotic dude at the artisan�s fair. Now, you know that I�m generally not reluctant to criticize my government, nor am I reluctant to admit that there are unsightly stains in the history of my country, but this guy was being too critical of the US, plus his arguments were flawed and too colored by anti-americanism to be rational and unbiased. I had so much I could have said, so many opinions, and I couldn�t clearly express a single one. Highly frustrating. I get frustrated when I can�t make myself understood correctly in ENGLISH, and this was a whole other world of frustration.

Sunday, after asado-o-rama with the family, I went to a soccer Football game with the Brit. It was fun�more so than I expected it to be. Sunday was also a day of SUPREME frustration with the language. It almost seems like I�m getting _worse_ sometimes. Two majorly comical flubs during lunch shook my confidence for the day. After saying that in the US the more common form of hockey isn�t played on a field, but on ice cream; also that as far as sports go, I don�t really play any, but I enjoy the postal service, HostBrother the younger laughed hard enough to rival the moped vendor. I hate that I�m still as sensitive as I am�but I was embarrassed and it definitely tainted my efforts for the rest of the day.

Today I went to the Casa de Provincia de Cordoba and picked up some information. This trip will be a little more daunting alone, but I think I�ll enjoy it. I need to check the prices of this one bus service within the province, and if its reasonable, I�ll go ahead and book my stuff. I talked to the lady at the travel agency nearby, and there are several reputable hostels that end up being about $4 USD a night. VERY economical. I could stay in a nice hotel for quite reasonable rates, but if I�m going to do the on-a-shoestring travel thing, I�m going to do it right. Hostel all the way, baby. The more people sharing the bathroom, the better. Since I�ll only be going for three days or so, I�m interested in this one company that runs day trips that leave and return to the capital city. We�ll see, about the time I post this, I should be learning more about it, so I�ll update if I learn anything coooool.

Speaking of�I�m hoping to have an e-mail about now telling me where I�m going to be living next fall. My housing selection is tonite! tonite! one night only! Here�s hoping that my 10 cent library fine or my lack of a meningitis vaccine or something like that didn�t put me on the housing list of doom.

Out of all the strange things I could have a craving for....my brain elects to crave something that I�ve only had a handful of times, and is probably impossible to find here: Jagermeister. WTF.

More weird dreams, some that would probably be classified as nightmares. Had one last night where I had to assassinate Nick Bl@ack in order to prevent the world from ending. I don�t know what Nick has to do with the world ending, but it wasn�t a happy dream. I mean, I don�t know Nick so well, but in my experiences with him, I�ve always liked him�good guy. Felt the same way in my dream, I didn�t _want_ to kill him, and I didn�t understand how doing so would prevent the destruction of existence, though I was sure it would. Furthermore, the dream was filled with awkwardness, as once I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to kill him, I had no idea how to go about it. I think I decided on strangulation in the dream, but I woke up (thank god) before I went through with it. Had another about two snakes coming in through a pipe in the bathroom. Assorted others throughout the week that have generally consisted of me not being able to communicate when I need to�either needing to speak in English, or in Spanish and not being able to at all. Sometimes I�m completely mute. Ung. I do think I had a fairly good dream last night after the one about killing poor Nick. I don�t remember it now, but I woke up with that sense that one gets when they were having a nice dream.

I�ve spent a lot of time thinking lately. Thinking about all kinds of things�mundane stuff, important stuff, future stuff, philosophical stuff, me stuff. I�ve done too much thinking. I�m enjoying life here, but I�m also getting super anxious and/or terrified of the future on a gazillion levels. I think it�s time for more functional denial! ha ha, I�m going to pour myself another mate and veg out in front of Argentine television. d-i-s-t-r-a-c-t-i-o-n.