Pre-marital _Bliss_

2004-08-18 / 11:03 p.m.

Look what I'm missing...

Hillary IM: oh jeez, bruce is vacuuming and screaming

Emily IM: at the same time?

Emily IM: that soundslike some kind of dada performance art piece

Hillary IM: because he accidentally sucked something up, I'm sure

This little snapshot of everyday life at CasaBliss makes me even more enthused that...

in a little more than a month...

I'll be going to (in the voice of the dearly departed Rod from The Price is Right)

FANTASTIC SILVER SPRINGS! to take a wonderful two night visit to see HILLARY and BRUCE in FABULOUS MARYLAND. I will also see our country's capital, WASHINGTON DC and will be staying in the luxurious CASA BLISS. Wooooooooo. Fun will be had.

When words fail

2004-08-18 / 5:30 p.m.

I spent 20 minutes today writing e-mails making various requests to the housing department and registrar. I was met with failure.

I spent almost an hour trying to get some semblance of a personal statement together. More failure.

In my procrastination over the personal statement, I banged out several pages of fiction. I read it later, and it pretty much blew goats. I would classify this as failure too, even though I didn't have a clear goal in mind.

Right now, I'm going to eat a (reduced fat, yet surprisingly tasty) ice cream sandwich. I have confidence that I will succeed.

Greed

2004-08-14 / 11:11 a.m.

So I went and saw �The Corporation� at Landmark last night with my friend Kristen. It was truly squirm worthy. It was definitely the most disconcerting of the documentaries I�ve seen of late. The most striking parts were the ones dealing with corporations and their damaging impact on the environment and the biosphere. The only downside was that it was a bit too long�.actually, maybe more than �a bit.� It started at 7:15, and my friend and I weren�t out of there until at least 9:35. Once I get online, I�ll have to look up for sure how long it was. Anyway, I found it highly effective and I hope I can use the momentum or whatnot to write a fired-up personal statement or something.

Afterwards, we went to a party at Kristen�s boyfriend�s apartment. Plenty of alcohol, and a very high percentage of very nice looking guys. In fact, I can safely say that there was not a single unattractive dude in the room. They were all good folk too�not just hot, but nice and interesting and funny and all around good conversation. It was a fun night, I enjoyed myself a lot. I think that being home and spending most of my time alone is slowing driving me mad, so this was just what I needed.

First I thought I�d crash there, but after a bit, I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to sleep; I ended up driving home at 4:45 in the morning. Feels almost like being back in Buenos Aires. :) Also like Buenos Aires nights, I wasn�t able to sleep very far into the morning. I�m feeling fine now, but I anticipate being in that weird half-awake-stupor by 5:00 or 6:00 this afternoon.

As for now, I�m off to zone out in front of USA vs. Brazil in Women�s Soccer.

Texas tea

2004-08-12 / 10:48 a.m.

Same old story. Like every summer, I write less; like every summer, I just have less to say. This journal has been through enough seasons for me to know that, so the lack of inspiration doesn�t worry me, it�s simply indicative of my yearly brain vacation. Some things just get into patterns like that. Only a few weeks back from Argentina, and my typical summer habits make it feel like I never left home. Almost daily consumption of mangos purchased from the Publix. Mornings are Buffy at the gym. Coming home, I always gain a little weight, probably because I walk around less and cook more. I also always play more scrabble. My room is a mess. I�m reading tons more for pleasure than I can when I�m at school (Currently finishing up the parts of Everything You Know is Wrong that interest me, Moore�s Practical Demon Keeping, and waiting on another from the library). It feels like I�m just getting into summer, and it�s weird to think that in just a little more than a week, I�ll be starting up with school again. I foresee burnout this semester.

I had the most bizarre dreams last night. One began with Joe styling my hair and having a friendly chat with me about the mathematical odds of winning the Florida Lottery, and his carefully calculated plans of how to do it. From what I remember now, the stuff he was saying didn�t make much sense at all, but I was pretending to understand so I wouldn�t look stupid. The dream ended completely unrelated (I don�t remember what happened between point A and point B, perhaps its a different dream entirely) with a Texan in a shocking pink cowboy hat drugging my cocktail, effectively rendering me paralyzed and mute, yet alert; I sat incapacitated and watched him search through my room for something. I don�t remember/didn�t know what we was looking for, but I remember being worried about him finding something embarrassing or revealing. Another one included me cooking in the kitchen of Hillary�s old apartment in Collier Green or Lincoln Collier or Green Lincoln or whatever. There were a lot of people there, though I only remember a few: Michelle, Will, Hillary, EK, Bruce, and Brian. I was cooking something in a big pot, and was getting irritated because it was crowded in the kitchen and Will kept giving me advice in such a way that was a not-too-subtle hint that he thought I was doing it wrong, and he was worried whatever I was cooking was going to come out badly. I started ignoring him, and then he just started adding random non-food items that one finds in a kitchen to the pot. Then I got pissed and told him to make it himself if he didn�t think I was capable of doing it. Somehow, I think it was coming along well by the end of the dream, despite the fact that he added all kinds of weird objects to it�I remember in particular a light bulb and spoons.

Everybody sleeps

2004-08-08 / 11:03 p.m.

ung. I promise. Entries really soon. really. For those who care, for those who don't, for those that believe I am their immortal god. I've written one, it just needs some editing. I've got material for others....

The thing is, I've just been so fucking tired lately. I'll come upstairs to write, and I just feel totally blah. It's weird: the first week home, I couldn't/didn't want to sleep much at all; lately, it's all I seem to want to do. I'm not getting up way early quite as regularly, but still going to bed way way early and occasionally even napping in the afternoons. I don't know if it's real, live, sleepy sleep, or just not-wanting-to-be-awake sleep...but whatever it is, I think I'm going to have a little more now.

Still, to my credit, even with my sluggish journaling, I've written more than usual extra-diaryland material. Maybe it's just a subconscious effort to avoid writing my fucking personal statement, but in the past week, I've produced several pieces of creative nonfiction, and a short story which sucks but at least it's got a beginning middle and end--as opposed to my usual half-finished, abandoned efforts.

Tomorrow, I aim to write a weekend recap. A story with lots of new vocabulary, quasi-indecent exposure, and my mother trying to covertly buy a "tobacco novelty". It promises to not suck.*

*not an actual promise