Spicing up life on Camazotz.

2005-02-14 / 9:30 p.m.

Short bits to say:

For better or for worse, I dropped Spanish today. The part of me that�s ashamed for giving up on the class is fighting with the apathetic part of me who just doesn�t give a fuck. On the one hand, it was a pretty low level class that I could definitely handle; but on the other hand, there was kind of a lot of work, and I didn�t need the class. Place your bets now for how long I�ll feel like a big ole� loser for not sticking with it. I should really find a way to occasionally practice the language now that I�m not taking the class.

Today was the first water aerobics class, it was a mixed bag, but not terrible. First of all, getting into a bathing suit for the first time since August or so was 900 times more disgusting than I thought it would be. That alone made me want to forget the whole thing, but then I remembered that I paid for the class, so there was no way I was going to just not go. It wasn�t much of a cardiovascular workout for me�while I don�t look it, I�m in pretty good shape, and probably in a bit better condition than most of the class. It did work my arms out pretty well though, which surprised me. My shoulders are still kind of sore.

No good news today, but the porch swings were finally hung back up today. That was certainly nice to see�.I missed the swings a lot. Of course, I�m saying this now before any noisy groups start congregating on the swings which, incidentally, are right outside my window.

There are many, many, men here tonight. Valentine�s day has brought the boyfriends from far and wide. Last time I came in, I noticed that the sign in sheet was totally full. I briefly thought how hilarious it would be to visit each of the occupants who had signed in a male guest tonight, asking if they had seen a pair of socks I lost, or something equally obnoxious.

tangibly challenged companions

2005-02-14 / 8:25 a.m.

I got up early this morning, like always, to go to the gym. After five days of exercise hiatus and eating terrible things due to the trip, I was eager to get back to my routine of regular exercise and stuff. Sure, it was rainy and cold and generally shitty outside, but whatever. Unfortunately, when I arrived (cold and wet), the student aide wasn�t there. I waited for 30 minutes, and no dice. Two other intrepid regulars, a skinny asian chick and a skinny blonde, joined me in bitching about it. (::sings:: one of these girls is not like the other, one of these chicks just doesn�t belong�.) I guess I�ll just have to find time to go later, though I�m booked pretty solid today. My schedule�with classes, meetings, work, and my new options class�only provides a small window of free time between 11:00 and 1:00, and finishes at 7:00 this evening. So I guess that settles that.

Sunday morning, I was lying awake in bed trying to fall back asleep, and realized that I had forgotten the names of my childhood imaginary friends. This was a big deal, seeing that my imaginary friends were (frighteningly) well developed in their time, and by the time I had abandoned making up stories about them, I had invented a pretty complex social tapestry between us. It drove me absolutely insane for about 20 minutes before I remembered. I feel really old.

Okay. It�s go time. This is going to be a day of many things, and I can�t put off starting it anymore. Alas.

�puedo ganar la batalla?

2005-02-13 / 9:51 p.m.

The writing center conference was fairly interesting, though I wasn�t thrilled to miss Friday�s classes, and I ate terrible-for-you-yet-delicious-conference food (except Saturday�s lasagna which tasted like anguish and medical refuse. The highlight was perhaps meeting with the guy that wrote the paper that was the core of our research�he was a cool dude, and chatted it up with us for a good bit after lunch on Friday. I�ll refrain from further conference details though, as I don�t suppose there�s more than a tutor or two in my readership.

This is looking like it could be an interesting week. I have a nebulous, intuitive, feeling that I�m going to get somewhat good news, but I can�t imagine what. Perhaps I�m just in a pleasant mood, and it�s causing me irrational optimism. Tomorrow will be a full schedule, so something interesting simply must happen to pass the day along. Assuming that I get the confirmation of what I�m pretty convinced of tomorrow, I can drop Spanish should I choose to. I still have to think on that tonight�it still feels like giving up. Tomorrow evening is the first of the water aerobics classes. People keep telling me that it�s really good exercise�rigorous with little to no impact�but it still carries all sorts of old lady connotations to me. Whatever, perhaps an extra hour of exercise will actually yield some results. Anyway, I have faith that even if the week sucks, the weekend will be full of loveliness: Roger will be here, and we�re going out to celebrate something akin to Valentine�s day, and show all the skeptics of our romantic spirit that Nerf Guns and romance are not mutually exclusive.

Of all the bizarre things to find in the Penney�s clearance, I came across a shot chess set for about USD$5.00. Sure, it�s called �Crystal gaming set� and includes other game pieces, ie: little glass dominoes, glass checkers, etc�but it also has a board and shot glass chess pieces, which makes it de facto shot chess with some other crap thrown in the box. Here�s the best part though: Perhaps since it�s not just shot chess, but also other board games, the makers felt compelled to add the disclaimer, �Ages 8 and over� on the side of the box. That was probably the funniest thing I saw all day.

this was supposed to be posted last night...

2005-02-10 / 7:00 a.m.

So I suppose it�s been a bit since I�ve updated. This was a result of unequal parts busyness, my computer situation, and the lack of things to write about. Since 66.6% of these factors are completely uninteresting, I�ll only subject you to one. My mother, in a bout of impatience, decided that she was tired of not having a computer. She laid claim to the laptop, and told me to shop around, and pick out the best value on computers I could find. I ended up with a pretty decent machine�I went with the Dell 3000. Even stripped of any bells or whistles, it�s faster than the laptop and leagues better than ye olde gateway who recently died. It�s not all that exciting, but I can�t deny that the real, live keyboard is pleasing. There are at least 27% fewer typos in my IM communications. So this is the first entry on the new computer. The only thing missing is my refurbished flat screen, which arrived and didn�t work, so the bastards are sending me a new one.

So tomorrow is the Writing Center conference in Charleston. It will probably be fairly enjoyable, but I�m just not looking forward to going right now. It�s a bad time to be missing a Friday of classes, and a worse time to lose out on a weekend of academic toil. This also makes the second week in a row of only going to the gym twice, since we have to leave tomorrow at 8:00 sharp. (It�s mornings like tomorrow, morning�s where I have to meet the others for breakfast at 7:30, that I�m glad I�ve conditioned myself to be a morning person.) I suppose there are bonuses to going though, and I�m sure I�ll be happier about leaving in the morning. After all, this means missing flute choir when we�re picking out our spring repertoire, which so far, looks like I�ll undoubtedly hate it. It also means hanging out with people who are firmly rooted in the non-suck category. I honestly enjoy hanging out with everyone I work with, and there are a few who I really like.

Tonight�s question, other than broad questionings of meaning and purpose, is what I should research for my senior seminar paper. I�m thinking about something relating to soft news sources. I could watch �The Daily Show� and call it research.

Little else to report. Today was kind of shitty, but for dumb and/or boring reasons not worth enumerating. Kristen and I talked about Multitude after senior seminar and drank alcoholic soda pop (Arbor Mist). This is that and that is all.

These boots are made for sitting in a box in the closet, and that's just what they'll do.

2005-02-05 / 12:28 a.m.

I bought knee-high, faux leather, slutboots this week. There were insane sales at Payless this week, and they were only $10. As you might imagine, they look absurd. If absurd, or a close synonym wasn�t what initially came to your mind, you probably haven�t seen my monstrous calves. �raaawr� they say �we are huge!� In some unfortunate oversight in conception and development, I was given man legs. Ok though, unlike some other complaints about my body, this is something I really can�t fix�.and it isn�t the point of the story. The point is simply that I bought the hooker boots. It�s probably been a fantasy for me to be able to pull off a pair since 11th grade. That was the year my boyfriend and other male members of our cohort wanted to buy some for Suzanne (our friend who they often treated as a sex object, despite the fact that she didn�t really ever try for that fa�ade�I suppose that�s what teenage boys do when they have an attractive female friend). I haven�t fulfilled this fantasy by a long shot, but they look okay when I�m wearing a semi-long skirt, and they work okay under jeans, so I�ll consider the purchase a not-terrible one. And! If I were to go as a low budget hooker for Halloween? Yeah, I�m already half set.

Cake has a lot of songs about or metaphorically invoking cars and/or driving.

Oh, okay�so Valentine�s Day.
My short answer is: ::shrug:: why not? seems fun. Honestly, I think the wave of I-hate-valentines-day retaliation that seems to rise up every year is a bit silly. Okay, I will be the first to admit that there are tons of obnoxious things related to the holiday: most notably, the advertising geared at telling you that you�re a bad husband/fianc�e/boyfriend if you don�t get your wife/fianc�e/girlfriend something really, really, awesome and impress the hell out of her with material goods. This is a disservice to both sexes. Women are now these demanding harpies who can only be sated with chocolate, roses, and jewelry; and men are either Casanovas or hapless schleps depending on the quality of the gift�not to mention the depletion to their savings account. Ducks, that is so irritating. But here�s the thing, I have trouble thinking of any interesting holidays that haven�t been exploited by advertisers. Love and finding the perfect gift are linked by advertisers for at least one other holiday, and it�s a big one�.a big one that is religious, making the emphasis on retail seem a bit seedier in my opinion. Companies have manufactured needs to go along with every major holiday. I mean, look, I�m DEFINITELY not speaking out in favor of our super-consumer culture, but if you aren�t going to bitch about this kind of activity at Christmastime�a major religious holiday�then why get bent out of shape over Valentine�s day? I mean, why not just refuse to give in to the suggestions that you need to buy tons and tons of stuff to show your significant other that he/she means something to you?

The other argument I seem to run across is people who feel super-excluded because they�re not seeing anyone�but rather than just not celebrate the holiday and go about their lives, they choose to expend substantial energy bitching about how much it sucks. Yes, it�s unfortunate that you�re not part of what is traditionally celebrated, but not all holidays are universally inclusive. That would be like someone who has lost their mother or father railing against mother�s day or father�s day�lame. I suppose the counter argument I�d get here would be something along the lines off, all the emphasis on couples and love and stuff serves as an annoying reminder to the single Valentine�s day protestor that he/she is single. This is definitely unfortunate, but that�s like me resenting the rich people I see shopping in my regular grocery store. I mean, watching them buy really nice cuts of meat and fancy wine certainly reminds me of what I don�t have, but I can�t be bitter about it.

I suppose the most important thing to remember is that it�s a stupid little insignificant holiday. Like it or dislike it, it isn�t worth getting bent out of shape over. To me, it�s just a fun chance to do something nice for someone you�re seeing. It�s fun to have an excuse to dress up and go out, or buy a little something for someone�I�ve never felt obligated to do so, I just enjoy it. Similarly, I wouldn�t care if someone I was with didn�t feel like doing anything, or if I didn�t have anyone at all. It�s not an important holiday, people.

there was always someone copying kyle

2005-02-02 / 10:08 p.m.

It�s Wednesday night, and I think I deserve a break�it�s such a ridiculously long day. I started doing homework at 7:30 am, first class at 9:00, and my last class finished up at 7:15. In the break I have between 11:00 and 1:00, I did homework and reading. I did some work tonight post classes, but now it�s slack time. Homework tomorrow. It�s listen to music and write about nothing time. Ah, ah, ah, and before you doubt my commitment to civic responsibility, you should know that I�m taping the State of the Union. I don�t have the necessary attention span right now.

I�ve realized that, barring necessary talent and necessary funding, being a writer would be fun. Lately, I�ve been fantasizing about writing fiction, but all previous attempts indicate that this would be a supreme failure; and besides, I don�t have the time right now. My new resolution for the future is this: once I�m done with my graduate degree, have a job, and have made significant progress toward saving the world, I will attempt to conceive a novel. I also solemnly pledge to myself that I won�t get up recreational writing until it stops being fun: it�s an enjoyable pastime that�s more productive than watching television, playing out-of-date video games, or reading other people�s livejournal gossip.

Senior seminar causes me to make the kind of faces that probably give me wrinkles.

Someone was tossed in the alumni pond tonight. How cold must that have been?

So I need to read some Edward Albee before he comes to my school to tell me about writing. I don�t suppose there are any obsessive Albee fans out there? Bah, the more I think about this, the more it kills me that I can�t revise that damn essay. If I knew it would be selected as a finalist, I would have made it better. I suppose there was a serious dearth of nonfiction submissions.

Meh, This entry isn�t going anywhere, but at least I have something to post on a new page and clear all the old ones off the index page. Honestly, I�m too tired to make much sense out of anything. More later. Expect my thoughts on Valentine�s Day.

Oh, and I liked Kyle�s song lyrics game and thought I�d do the same while I wrote this entry, did some stuff for work, and just unwound tonight. Unfortunately, I didn�t have the time or attention span to listen closely to 25 songs, so I just did a few. I didn�t really put that much thought into whether what I picked was my favorite lyric�it�s more just ones that jumped out at me as a listened to the song. Also, mine are probably a lot easier to place because I suppose I�m a good bit more mainstream than dear old Kyle.

My lyrics:
• Sipping the golden dregs
• There�s definitely, definitely, definitely no logic to human behavior
• Bluebird of friendliness, like guardian angels it�s always near
• Close our eyes and hope that we�ll be fine
• I never could do that which would might hurt you, so try and be cool
• Smooth the lines on the face of an old enemy
• Letting go of yet another dirty day
• It�s is five am, and the sun has charred the other side of the world and come back to us, and has painted the smoke over our heads an imperial violet.
• You�ve got one good trick and you�re hanging on to it
• Lately I�m finding I am the book and you are the binding
• Go, go Tokyo, let�s hop on a plane, it�s all so cute it�s all so insane.
• The winter sun makes patterns on your face
• When all words fail, she speaks. Her mixed tapes a masterpiece