Dorothy Parker reportedly said she had a parrot she named "Onan" because it was always "spilling its seed".

2005-11-19 / 4:36 p.m.

Man, I bet you guys miss me so much when I don�t update. It�s time though, and maybe it�ll cheer me up�I tried to bake cranberry nut bread again, but something is wrong with it. I don�t understand, I followed all the same instructions as last time, used all the same ingredients, but it�s some sort of horrible aberration of what it should be. It�s like homunculus bread. Hey, roger.

Speaking of Roger, I went and watched him test for his red belt last night. His padres came too. Before the big kids did their thing, all the wee ones (about 70 of them) tested�we caught the end. It was something else. Imagine a little girl about 4 feet high kicking a board in half. Roger did super awesome. The forms that he does�which he explained to me as sort of a one-man show of the moves he�d make in an imaginary fight�looked very impressive; much more impressive than when done in my living room. He was in two sparring matches with older women who he totally took to school. And he broke a board in half with his hand! If he hasn�t yet told you how awesome he is, well, he will. But it�s true. Here are some low quality pictures I took.

I had been wondering where the chicken was first domesticated and eaten. So far, I�ve found answers that say Thailand around 7000 BC, China 3000 BC, and New Guinea some time in the past. Apparently, the ancient Romans used chickens as oracles, which seems like a bad idea to me, but whatever. I had general Tso�s Chicken with Roger and his parents after ninja test. Apparently, it has about 830 calories for two cups. Ouch. Oprah�s website told me that as I was searching for the origins of General Tso�s chicken (apparently, the dish is completely unknown in China, and has nothing to do with the General). Apparently, there is a Robot Chicken DVD to be expected someday, which would be nice, because I miss the cable. Oh, internet. What would I do without you?

We will return to where we started / And know the place for the first time

2005-11-10 / 11:19 p.m.

So we [Roger, EK, me, also ran into Eddie] went to the Spoon concert Tuesday. It was totally sweet and awesome. They are one rockin� band, and their songs are way way way catchy. Unfortunately, they�re one of those bands that takes some close listening to correctly discern some of their lyrics. The combination of this and their catchiness has resulted in a lot of nonsense singing in the car. Regardless, it was super fun.

Today Roger and I heckled an emo kid behind his back. It was funny.

In class today, we watched The Fog of War. I didn�t expect to like it as much as I did. It was fantastic. McNamara�s point of view was not what I would have expected, and it was very interesting. I would recommend it for anyone who can sit through a documentary. Also, Robert McNamara is 89 and still alive. Eat it, Kachinske.

Hey, speaking of wars�my favorite clothing store is having a veteran�s day sale! Up to 70% off!!! *squeee!* OMG! How appropriate!

Names I have called my cat today (out loud) that I have absolutely no explanation for:
--Skid mark
--Puff pop
--Jesus taco.
Seriously. Sometimes combinations of words just come into my head, and it seems like a good idea (at the time) to address my cat with the m�lange of syllables that often make no sense.

I should go to bed. Many things must be done tomorrow.

�Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.� �so says dictionary.com

worst online quizzes I could find.

2005-11-09 / 5:10 p.m.

Study break! OMG, Online quizzes tell us so much about ourselves!!!!1!11!

you're the older, and the much wiser conor. but you
tend to be drunk for every show. which causes
you to stumble a lot and spill drinks on drum
sets and get a little more friendlier with your
fans than you probably should. you're really
just an older version of young depressed pill
taking conor. why so sad still?


which conor oberst are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your a magical unicorn! As all unicorns go, magic
unicorns are amazing with enchantments and can
perform spells and all kind of crafts. Magic
Unicorns have horns that if drank from can cure
blindness, and give immortality. All magical
unicorns are very kind and heart-warming, but
can get tempermental if a spell goes wrong.
Magical Unicorns live in forests where they can
practise all there magic in secret. But, if a
human befreinds a magical unicorn, they have a
friend for life.


What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'll update for real soon.

I didn't realize it was halloween until 6:22pm

2005-10-31 / 11:30 p.m.

That meme was fun, wasn�t it? I think now that everyone I know who reads this has played my wicked game, I can post atop it.

So, remember how I like to try to pronounce the equations we study in ed. Policy? Today�s was the best. It also resulted in what I believe to be a special bond of immaturity between the professor and myself. He wrote the offending part of the equation on the board, and as his back was turned, I stifled my laugh. I think at about the same time, he turned around looking for others who were amused by the impropriety of the joke, and saw me smirking. A couple of others were childish enough to join in the restrained chortling, but I like to think that I was the worst. Oh, Rouse�s fixed effects model, you are my favorite equation so far, because you are calculating a euphemism for boobies,

Tit = ∏� + Ω i�.
heh heh heh, tit equals. Har har har har. Paying attention for 3 hours is hard though.

Fall break was last weekend, and was moderately awesome. While my academic entanglements were neglected (which I am paying for now), I was able to use my free time to bake some fuckin� yummy cranberry nut bread, go to Six Flags, and play with my mom. Regarding item 1, I am tweaking my recipe, and hope to make many small loaves around thanksgiving/Christmastime and distribute them to the worthy. Baked goods are an economy of scale, so making cranberry nut bread for all my people is a lot cheaper than buying them real gifts. Re: item 2? Phil, Roger and I went Friday night. I would have bitched more (don�t get me wrong, I bitched plenty) about paying admission to six flags just to stay for a few hours, but it ended up being quite cheap. Some dude accidentally bought a ticket he didn�t need, and offered it to us for 20$. While the guys tried to find me to see if I had a 20, the dude selling it got impatient and just gave it to them. In addition, we got buy-one-get-one, so even with parking, it only ended up being about $20 a person. It was definitely worth 20 bucks, even though the Ninja broke while we were in line. Item 3: Kitten season is almost over, so we made a trip to the shelter. It was hilarious as usual, though it was an adoption day and crowded, so we didn�t stay long. Also, I came back with lots of stuff�which seems to always happen when I go home. The king of the haul was a set of very nice dishes mom got on clearance. They are pretty and white with a platinum ring around the edge. Originally a $100 set, mom got them for $6 and bequeathed them to me for $0. Now all I need are friends for a dinner party to use my fancyass dishes.

I hate the time change. I miss the tranquility of leaving the house at sunrise. It just seems noisier with the sun in my eyes, refracting against the frost on the windshield, making me a danger to myself and other drivers. It makes my subconscious pissed off first thing in the morning. Plus, it's cold. I hate cold. Off with its head!

Okay, time to read Roger�s paper and go to bed. Adios, boludos.

And the good south wind still blew behind / but no sweet bird did follow

2005-10-22 / 5:38 p.m.

The title of this entry was seriously about to be, �If Ben jumped off a bridge, I would too�; then I realized how likely it was that I�d have to carry out that statement.

Anyway�sometimes journal memes are fun. Stick your name in a comment and let me play. When you do comment, and you�d better if you know what�s good for you, than I get to answer the questions below.

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a liquor I�d take a shot of with you.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered or liked about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal

dear diary

2005-10-22 / 1:23 p.m.

Writing a journal entry and eating graham crackers is more fun than doing homework. I�m trying to start two different Big Papers� and good ideas just aren�t coming to me. One is to pick a problem confronting a public agency, write about possible solutions, and pitch our favorite/most feasible. The other is a literature review on some facet of education policy, along with a research idea with possible methods and data sources. Anyone who helps me come up with a winning idea will be recompensed with baked goods.

This week has been a lot of school work and some cat drama. Lucy, despite being an inside cat, has managed to contract fleas, bring shame to our family name. I�ll spare you the details of the vet visit and the new regimen of vacuuming: what you need know is that war has been declared. If you are not for us, you are against us. Oh, and also that you should avoid those Hartz pet products that they sell in drugstores; they�re apparently quite toxic and frequently make animals very sick. I learned that, and a lot of other disgusting details about the life and times of fleas this week. For instance, I can now tell you that the average fucking flea can jump seven fucking inches vertical and thirteen fucking inches horizontal.

Some things that I dislike:
1. Fanfiction. It is the lowest form of creative writing, and people who are super into it are literary/pop culture parasites. *Though paradoxically enough, I find fan-art somewhat entertaining when I stumble across it. There�s no accounting for taste I suppose.
2. erotic fanfiction�especially when it�s about something completely non-sexual (e.g.: Harry Potter)
3. Fleas
4. misplacing my tweezers
5. Economics midterms

There�s nothing to say now. HOWEVER, look for an entry later in the week detailing the adventure that is scheduled for tonight. Roger, EK, Phil and I are going to a corn maze, or MAIZE MAZE if you will. Check for pictures and updates later in the week.

Utility maximizing!

2005-10-13 / 5:00 p.m.

My brain is melting. I finished (almost) all of the reading for my class tonight (I skimmed the last 20 pages of one book) and started studying for my econ midterm. It�s become apparent that I need a fresher brain before I commence with the economics so I�m committing myself to saving it to the wee hours of the morning and the weekend. I got about a half hour of studying done, and by �studying,� I mean blankly staring at the book with a little drool in the corner of my mouth. I knew it was time to throw in the towel when I started trying to pronounce equations on the study sheet. �Murts equals M�kes divided by Muy� (MRS = MUx /MUy)

I have only made one wax hand in my life. It was at Hillary�s Dad�s (or Mom�s or both??) company picnic in about 1998. I just felt like mentioning that.

I feel like writing something�okay, I know I�m writing something now, but I meant something a little larger in scope. Perhaps over Christmas break, I�ll start my first novel. Or maybe figure out what the hell I�m supposed to be doing about an internship. I also want to play with all the jewelry making stuff that�s languishing in a drawer. And learn to play the guitar. Sadly, it�ll probably end up being the second option. I�m a bit worried about this, because I seem to be the only kid on the MPA block with absolutely no relevant work experience. I�d like to get a position at the state level, but I don�t know the odds. Man, if I do get it though, that commute will be dreadful. I could stay at home�but only for a couple of days at a time unless I find someone to look after Lucy during the week.  Going to go ahead and make a preliminary request�.is there anyone who thinks they�ll be in Athens over the summer who would like to make some cash (and probably get some free baked goods out of it) by feeding and loving the Lucy? I know it�s premature, but I just wondered if there was even a chance anyone could.

In closing, I�d like to say that Ida McKinley is one of the funnier looking first ladies in the history of our country.

not an entry

2005-10-12 / 10:21 p.m.

I haven't been able to crank out a decent entry lately on account of heavy schoolworkload. All of the things I have due before fall break are finished but for one: I've only got one big midterm, and it's in less than a week. I would bet more money than I've got in my bank account now that I'll start writing a lot again once that hurdle is out of the way. There's also a good chance that I'll write some barely coherent nonsense during a study break.

Until then, don't forget about me...as if I was ever memorable.

Don't tell me where to pee!!!

2005-09-30 / 6:01 p.m.

So, for some unknown reason, I thought that browsing TheCollege�s �for students only� public posting folder (like a newsgroup but with fewer words spelled with numbers, n00bs) would be a better use of my time than reading for economix. Yeah, I know. So anyway, one of the current debates going on is about the crackdown on nudity at bonfire. Not much background is necessary: in recent years, it has become trend to arrive very scantily clad, and it seems like every year the senior class has to show a little more skin than the previous senior class. Also, some of the more enthusiastic members of the student body have attributed all kinds of significance and meaning to going to bonfire half-to-mostly naked. Now that the administration has asked everyone to take it down a notch, people are getting vehement about their right to not wear clothes. I personally could care less�I don�t think I�ve attended the event since my first year; I never found it to be all that fun and never desired to paint myself gold and go outside three quarters naked. On the one hand, if you want to be a naked jackass for the night, go ahead. ::shrug:: I�m not your mother. On the other hand, it is an open campus, and apparently there have been na�ve male faculty members there in the past who were very embarrassed when they saw so many boobies. The point is that I read this response on public folders, and thought it was both colorful and dumb, and felt like reprinting it:

I am a strong advocate for individual rights, and I do not like that we have laws in this country based on someone's personal offense by another who was just doin' their thang -like peeing on a bush. . . peeing on bushes is not wrong, nor is it against what nature intended for all animals . . yes, we are animals. . . but why make a law saying it's wrong to pee on bushes because someone at one time was offended by an exposed penis. Heaven forbid you should see someone's penis. It is a part of human anatomy that you have seen before, and yet you are still offended every time you see a new penis beside a bush (green ones, silly).

Sweet crap. That was some fine editorializin�

and in a white sea of eyes...

2005-09-28 / 10:54 p.m.

Courtney was right�Google Earth is SO COOL. The resolution for big cities is INCREDIBLE. I played with the maps of Buenos Aires, and found the two stone statues (roughly 10 ft. high) that I passed on my way to class at Universidad Cat�lica. I found where I lived when I was there, where my gym was, where my school was, where I liked to drink, where I liked to eat ice cream, where I could catch all the useful buses (You can see the buses in the photo!!). Somewhat less cool was playing in atlanta/marietta/decautr (still very cool!!!!!!111!!eleven!!). You can do a local search, and find all the Taco Bell restaurants in the area if you so desire. And, you know, if you wanted to do something less pointless than locate all the tacobells in the Atlanta suburbs, those smart bastards even have file updates to show Katrina damage/cleanup.

I have developed what you plebs might call a, �love-hate relationship� with the physical activities building at The University. On the one hand, their facilities are so nice. After using the meager workout room at my complex, I had forgotten that an elliptical could be strenuous, that there were treadmills that weren�t missing handrails, and that no all gyms had air conditioning problems. On the other, dirtier and less pleasant hand, the people there seem to generally suck hosewater. First day I go into the cardio room, I go to get on a pansymachine, and someone informs me that you have to sign up for one first. Fine. Despite the fact that there are apparently four open, they tell me that I can sign up for a spot 20 minutes later. Okay, still fine. I come back, and the guy at the desk tells me I can�t bring my bag in. Okay, fine. My bag is small and unobtrusive, but I can see why they might adopt that policy. I make a mental note to rent a locker, remove my Discman and water bottle, and leave the rest of my stuff in the hall with everyone else�s junk. I re-enter the room, and I�m told that I can�t bring my water bottle in. WTF, son? No water? No, because apparently people have been, �spilling it on the electrical outlets and stuff.� By this time, I had lost almost five minutes of my scheduled time. Like clockwork, 25 minutes later a tall, thin, platinum blonde girl lets me know that my time is up, and it�s her turn on that machine RIGHT NOW. Add this to the fact that it takes me 15 minutes to get to campus, and another 15 to get to the gym by bus (or else pay at least $2.00 USD to park), I�m not sure which scenario sucks less. Perhaps now that I�m going to start getting paid a full month�s salary for a month, I can swing a membership to a discount gym near my house. We�ll see.

Roger replaced my missing copy of Songs for Silverman for our 12monthiversary�only he got me the crazy awesome super CD with booklet of photos, and separate DVD. It�s awesome. Roger is awesome. I could expound upon this, but I�m not that girl. Also, you might explode with jealousy when you realized just how awesome the Holy Alliance is. Anyway, the gift was able to somewhat, somewhat, cushion the blow that was delivered when I found out that BEN FOLDS IS PLAYING IN ATLANTA IN A FEW MONTHS AND I PROBABLY WON�T BE THERE. Not only is it during the class that confuses the hell out of me, but I don�t have anyone to go with, and tickets are $25. Advice? anyone? Really, I�m just looking for someone to tell me that it�s okay to blow off an important class to go to a concert in Atlanta all alone even when I�m too poor to pay for the gas to get there.

That's what they do, make soap out of people.

2005-09-26 / 11:37 p.m.

Roger and I celebrated being a couple for a year last weekend. It was fun�went out for sushi. I�m pretty sure we�re the best couple ever.

I�m going to have to admit it: Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty damned entertaining. ::sigh:: I was never meant to be cool anyway. I�d like to see the rest of the series. Too bad I�m too poor to have cable.

Speaking of television, I saw something pretty nauseating on network television today. A bit of googling has let me know that it was not renewed after its first season, which is some condolence, but not much. So anyway, this show touts itself as part talk show, part court show, and part game show. It�s �Moral Court, where it pays to be right.� It�s like a court show, only the judge (Libertarian ) judges the morality, not legality, of the litigants�moraligants? Who knows? Anyway, the winner of the �suit� is awarded (rather than given monetary compensation) between $500 and $2000 depending on how severe Judge Elder determines the moral transgression to be. Anyway, so I caught the beginning of an episode where the plaintiff claimed that his girlfriend used to have sex with him whenever he wanted (usually 3 or 4 times a day I think he said) and she would do all kinds of kinky stuff, but since he proposed to her, she hadn�t been as willing to �get freaky� as often. I turned it off before I could see if the judge decided whether the girlfriend had purposely lied about her �freakiness� to get him to propose to her. These are the people in your neighborhood, kids.

Che afa fa

2005-09-21 / 11:31 p.m.

So I called my mother on the way home from school Tuesday night. �Mom,� I asked, �The company Dak, d-a-k, they make canned hams, right?�
�yes,� she tells me.
�And when you worked at Cunningham Sales (the food broker she worked for when I was 6-8) you did Dak stuff, right?� Mom confirms it, and is surprised I remembered this. I�m surprised too. Until I called her, I wasn�t sure Dak was really a company that made ham. Some recess of my mind did though�I think I was having a dream about Dak ham the night before. You know how when you�re half awake, and sometimes you can�t separate dreams from reality, and it makes you say nonsense stuff? Yeah. My first memory of Tuesday morning was rolling over to hit the alarm clock, and saying out loud: �You can sleep five more minutes, Dak hams are over salted anyway.� I suppose I found some sum of money at the end of this story.

Going a month on half a month�s pay is totally lame. It makes me wish

Here�s a zany link, Emergency kitchen. I�ve linked to the �Bean Theory� wherein Sally differentiates between hoarding and preparedness, but I�d strongly recommend also checking out her recipe page.
I had more to say, but I forget. It�s bedtime. I�ll update again soon.

it all means something

2005-09-11 / 6:18 p.m.

I've got lots of work I need to be doing, but it's pissing me off, so here I am. Bravo! What's worse than a paper you don't want to write? One that you don't want to write, and don't even know how to write well. Also, I think I'm tired.

Despite the purchase of a second-hand dining room table, Roger and I have picked up a habit of taking our dinners on the living room floor in front of the West Wing Season 2 (soon to be season 3) DVD. Last night, as we were feasting on the responsible meal of hot dogs and beer (and later cake), Roger made a joke about Erotic West Wing Fanfiction. This was hilarious until just now, when I thought it might be a good idea to see if such a thing really existed. Yeah. Um, not only does it exist, but it exists with every possible character pairing you can think of. Toby and Sam? Jesus hell, imagined gay fantasy aside, I can't see Toby and Sam ever having much in the way of chemistry.

Great things this week. Most important and most great is that my mother got that job. It pays better than her old one, and is undoubtedly going to be hated less. And, in the self-serving ramifications, she bought a new computer, and I'm recouping the laptop. I'm going to try to heal him of the demons my mother has put in him. I'm also going to try to coerce her into buying me some stuff I'd like, but can't fit into my budget. Other good news: I baked a cake. A real cake, with layers--three of them! Granted, each layer fell apart as I tried to remove it from the pan, but the adhesive powers of icing will amaze even you, my friend. And the cake is delicious. 100% of Roger's surveyed liked eating it better than eating a box of turkish delight.

Roger and I tried to fly a kite Friday. Want to guess how we faired? Friday actually ended up being a tremendous adventure day. Post kite flying, we went to a little El Salvadoran restaurant which was a pretty good find. I wasn't that hungry, so all I ordered was a taco. Much to my delight, it turned out to be like no taco I had ever had before�a very squishy and mealy tortilla, laying flat and piled several inches high with all kinds of stuff�fresh avocado slices, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and very well seasoned steak. High five, El Salvador! In the evening, I suggested something that I had been promised for several months. We drove away from town until the street lights became sparse (toward Bogart, for those keeping count). We parked outside of a nondescript looking distribution center in a little cul-de-sac at the end of their driveway. We opened the sunroof, turned the headlights off, and just looked at the stars. Living six miles out of Atlanta precludes this kind of activity, and living in the SuperSuburbs of Mayretta hampers it; I've finally found something Athens is good for ;) What's more, I say three meteors. The first three ever, actually. As I learned once I got home, the Piscids were at their peak rockin' out point that night. It was really a spectacular night, clear, cool and dark.

Okay, now: more homework. Just a little. This was a restorative weekend, and I want to keep it that way. Tomorrow morning, I'm attacking the weak with renewed zeal and then some. Bring it on, motherfuckers. I'm going to write that paper good, bitches. I'm going to keep my apartment clean until my mother comes to visit, so clean that I'm going to serve CAKE off the FLOOR. I'm going to start eating well again, and I'm going to add some oomph to the gym in the mornings. I'm going to make my own gasoline for free. I'm going to run for president. I'm going to go to bed early, and beat the sun up�no, no�not wake up before the sun, I mean I'm going to rough him up a little. Chau.