The Wrath of Alice

2003-02-04 / 8:38 p.m.

Many of you may know our family fish at home Steve (May go by Alias "Dante"). Those of you who are acquainted with him probably best remember him for his lethargic attitude and abnormally ugly eyes. For those of you who don't know him, we've had this fish for about two years and he's still alive and kicking...though for the past year he's been more or less sedentary; sitting on the bottom of the bowl, only struggling to swim to the surface for food. However, from tonight onward, Steve will go down in history as the fish who lived. He is currently living up his 15 minutes of fame, after his bowl was knocked off the counter and he lived! Apparently, my mother came home to find the bowl shattered on the floor and barstool. I'm guessing that this was the work of Alice trying to get on a higher plane in order to jump on the top of the kitchen cabinets. At first she thought the fish was certainly dead, though upon inspection, discovered Steve laying on a shard of broken glass about the size of a teaspoon in a bit of water, still alive and apparently unharmed. This has truly got to be the end all, be all, of betta fish survivor stories.

The folk rock girls next door are taking a kind of strange route with their musical expression tonight. Usually, the noise from their room is pretty pleasant. One of them plays guitar really well, and some friend of theirs has been accompanying them on harmonica lately. A few hours ago, they did a pretty decent version of "Last Dance with Marry Jane". So yeah, even though they're really pretty loud, it's generally okay, because it doesn't sound too terrible... But tonight, they've crossed the line. There are at least two people in there with recorders, or perhaps slide whistles--maybe even a duet. I think they've just started, because I've heard "Marry had a little lamb" and "ode to joy" about 90 times. ... .. .... oh yeah, they definately have recorders. There's only so much of this I can take.