"I am all that is [wo]man!"

2004-09-07 / 9:28 a.m.

The power went out last night, and therefore my alarm clock was not functioning at wakeup time. Fortunately, I am not a woman, but a machine....I woke up on my own a mere two minutes past when my alarm was set to ring. Six. Thirty. Two.

Added bonus: The class I course tutor in was cancelled, enabling me to write this quick update and knock out several homework tasks while leisurely enjoying my morning coffee and lounging around in my robe. I don't want to get my hopes up, but this is shaping up to be a good day.

Natural disaster or fruity libation?

2004-09-07 / 7:36 a.m.

I hope that everyone's Florida dwelling family and friends are okay.

Pirate nite

2004-09-06 / 10:28 p.m.

Various machines in my room have conspired together and devised a strike. The phone won�t hold a charge, AIM won�t let me sign on, and the cable went out.

I�m a sad panda.

I wrote a good entry, but accidentally saved in on the computer at work, rather than on the public drive. Look for it soon, unless it gets erased or I�m lazy and don�t post it.

Quick overview:

*Edited the entry �Lame childhood anecdote� and might use it for a rainy day in nonfiction. This week�s assignment was to write �about a place.� I was completely uninspired this week, and ended up banging out 600 words on the podunk town where my grandparents lived.

*I had a terrific night last night. I�m not in the mood to write much about it now, but I can tell you that it included delicious food, an excursion to the crack baby playground, much alcohol and fantastic company (many of said �good company� also incredibly hot).

*I had been curious about smoking cloves for awhile now, and tried it last night. It was creepily like smoking Christmastime. Less gross than cigarettes. Interesting, but I don�t have any inclination to ever smoke them again.

*Hillary sent me a tentative itinerary for my weekendie in Maryland. Oh mah gawd. As if seeing Hillary wasn�t good enough, she�s also set us up an assload of delightful activities including the possibility of....get ready....a Segway Tour. How much ass would that kick? Sadly, I think it might be really expensive. And unless our country decides to suddenly change the form of currency from our bills and coins to--I dunno, something I have a lot of, like dryer lint or hello kitty Band-Aids, I�m pretty fucking po�.

I have sleep to catch up on. Goodnight.

One good turn at a time

2004-09-05 / 12:53 a.m.

Huzzah! Cake is coming to the Tabernacle on October 13th.

I realize that I will probably be going alone, and I don't care....but if you happen to be interested in coming along, inform me por favor. Tickets are kind of expensive too. :(

You're suposed to say 'bang' times three of them!

2004-09-03 / 8:11 p.m.

Does anyone want to do something tonight?

In other news, I�ve been having all kinds of crazy dreams and nightmares lately. This last week, I�ve slept a normal amount yet haven�t felt rested because of waking up after all these insane dreams

First of all, I�ve been having a lot of anxiety about my teeth...they�re in really bad shape, but I don�t have the money to do anything about it now. I�m not just worrying over nothing...there is some disconcerting crap wrong with my teeth. I�m terrified that they�re going to fall out or die or something. I don�t know, but it scares me and it�s giving me nightmares. I keep having this dream where I bite into an apple and a bunch of my teeth come out in the apple. ::shudder:: In addition to the dental nightmares, it seems that the figurative selectively permeable membrane that separates waking thoughts and dreams is getting a little easier to breach. It has seemed this week that everything I�ve discussed for more than a few minutes shows up in my dreams.

The GRE....it didn�t go that well, but I�m trying not to dwell on it. Furthermore, no one likes to hear me bitch, so getting over the disappointment is almost like killing two birds with one stone...I can concentrate on strengthening my application as much as I can to cover for my GRE inadequacy, and I can keep from annoying the fuck out of friends and loved ones.

Someone in the immediate vicinity is playing shitty music really loudly. In retaliation, I�m playing a mix of Cornershop, TMBG, and�the icing on the cake�Group X loud enough to cover it up. We can listen to nonsense words, learn about mammals, and hear strategies for picking up the schladies.

Not unlike the plague

2004-09-01 / 5:25 p.m.

"You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear.

Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze. You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes.

Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once.

You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you.

It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything.

When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off. You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type.

If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying.

Of the 38601 people who have taken this quiz, 8.9 % are this type."

Here The jury is out on whether this is anything like me or not.

Primal scream

2004-08-31 / 3:14 p.m.

Dude. I�m sick of my own mediocrity. I�m tired of being able to do just a little bit of everything. I want to be good at something�maybe even the best within my little circles at something. Everything I do, I never really exceed �average.� School, work, various hobbies: the activities in which I don�t outright fail, I�m just �okay� at. That�s starting to chafe me.

In other news, I�m sick.

In other news, the GRE is tomorrow.

In other news, feeling particularly keen on the idea of some male companionship.

In slightly better news, the first day of ballet class was criminally fun. It wasn�t complicated enough to frustrate me. I actually did okay, with only a few setbacks. My main impediment is my massive calves. An unfortunate genetic makeup has given me gargantuan legs; factor in the running, and my giant calves are rock fucking hard as well. This means that I can�t really do a proper first position....my heels cannot physically touch. Apparently, this isn�t way-crazy-incredibly-super-rare, and my instructor said that my first position would just leave my feet a little further apart. Yay for my first ballet lesson 15 years late.

And you all suck for never commenting...except maybe Lee, who comments sometimes. You guys lick butt.

Nonfiction

2004-08-30 / 8:58 p.m.

It's nothing special. Nothing particularly good...but it's something. I created something. I wrote my first essay draft for creative nonfiction. While it feels good to have written something, what's stranger is the knowledge that I showed it to someone else, and then someone else; and tomorrow: my entire class. This may be the first time in my adult life that someone else has read a piece of my creative writing.

Fake poo and ballet shoes

2004-08-29 / 11:46 a.m.

So yesterday I went to obtain necessary equipment for my introduction to ballet class. After many hours of calling stores and bargain hunting on the internet, I just got discouraged and went to a regular dance store. It ended up being more expensive than I would have liked, but not as expensive as books for any other class would be, so I�ll survive I suppose. As I�ve said before, this is probably my last chance to try something like this, so why the hell not. Added bonus, I went to Center Stage II in Marietta square, which means I got to dawdle around in the attached Eddie�s Trick Shop, which is always fun. I surveyed a wide array of fake poo, fiddled with several puzzles I couldn�t solve, ogled at the really elaborate costumes, and was shown several impressive card tricks by a terribly adorable guy working there.

The experience of trying on and selection wasn�t as painful as I was worried it would be; though looking at oneself in a tri-sided mirror wearing light pink tights is certainly enough to make the average non-dancer shudder. Thankfully, our professor allows little ballet skirts, which was enough to mitigate the self consciousness caused by the sight of my big ole� thighs wrapped only in baby aspirin-pink Lycra. I was sad that even the most economical little sheer wrap around skirt was $19.95, but I guess my dignity is worth about that. Money-wise, I was surprised at the affordability of the shoes. I thought they would be way way expensive, and was glad that I could score a basic pair for $16.

The worst part of the shopping trip was the crowd. A zillion little girls trying on dance shoes and apparel, being interrogated on fit and preference by their zillion mothers. I was about to poke my eye out with a spoon waiting for a fitting room. I felt almost bad for the brothers of said little girls who had been brought along on the errand�I can almost excuse misbehavior from a kid when he�s been forced to spend two hours of his life watching his sister try out tap shoes.

Still though, it wasn�t all that bad and it didn�t take very long to get everything. I�ve now got the classic beginning ballerina ensemble�black leotard, little black skirt, ugly pink tights, and little pink ballet shoes. If I were six years old, it would probably be too adorable to stomach; at 21, it�s more just funny :) Still, I think it�ll be fun. At least I hope so, as I can�t get a refund for the outfit.