OMGWTFBBQ!!! I am totally facebook friends with both of Roger's siblings!!!

2005-06-26 / 10:14 p.m.

Kyle (link included for those readers who may not be teamie mcawesome groupies) got a sweet new job in San Francisco. To commemorate his achievement, children gathered at collier saturday for revelry, drinking, and mildly irresponsible behavior. Sunday morning�s discovery that the only remaining alcohol was a splash at the bottom of a Bacardi bottle and a half a bottle of warm, stale, beer was somewhat shocking. This particular ride on the fun train resulted in a few more bumps and bruises than usual, but that did not detract one iota from the fun, perhaps this is because I was fairly drunk and my nerves were dulled. Combat wounds include two small knots on my head: one from a collision with Kristin-with-an-i�s face during a game of chicken, and one from a marco polo injury; as well as a bruise on my arm from a failed attempt at punching Roger. Yeah, they might hurt a little, but I�m really only bringing it up because I�m a needy attention whore. And yes, we were playing at a pool while under the influence, but no one was really all that intoxicated�at least not as far as I could tell. Barring Ben, who taunts death regardless of sobriety, no one did anything dangerous. Sadly, the Holy Alliance got totally served when it came to chicken fighting�perhaps the only thing we have not succeeded at kicking ass playing as a couple. Jim: if you read this, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed�even though I didn�t ask you. Also, your pillows suck.

And Kyle? I'll miss him. And I'm not going to wax cheesy on how great Kyle is here--but let it be known that I have tremendous respect for the kid, and that he's one of the most sincere and friendly people I've ever met. hey, kyle. But let's not be too down about the whole thing--no one with that kind of starting salary can be hindered by a geographical distance so relatively small.

What�s more, I went to KasaKachinske beforehand, and it was all the fun and excitement I knew it would be. I still maintain that out of all of my friends�past and present�Roger has the coolest total family. His siblings especially are remarkably funny and complete different than anyone else I've ever met--except Roger. I�m jealous of Roger�s family�at one point, a bag of peas exploded in the microwave. Had this had happened in my house�to either me or my mother�it would have loosed a torrent of vulgar and profane language. But in Roger�s house? Just delight in how funny peas are when they scatter all over the inside of a microwave. Nothing broken, nothing hurt.

And again, another fairly long entry told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Tomorrow, I hope to write about my beef with a sticker machine I encountered in the Kroger. For as dumb as that sounds, it seems to be a particularly offensive sticker machine. Wow�reading that makes me wonder how anyone can listen to me for more than five minutes. Meh, screw it. Time to catch up on the many hours of sleep I�ve missed this weekend.

A trophy!?

2005-06-20 / 5:13 p.m.

So, I�ve got some journaly stuff to write about, but first, I�ve got to let you know that BEN FOLDS IS PLAYING AT THE 99X FREE CONCERT SERIES ON THE 30th AND I AM SO EXCITED!!! Okay, back to our regularly scheduled boring journal entry.

So there are several people at work participating in the same clinical study. I guess someone saw the add in a newspaper, and passed it around. So anyway, it�s a study about muscle atrophy. The participants have to neglect using one leg for the entire month duration of the study. They�ve got one shoe equipped with a rubber lift about 4 inches high, which keeps their other leg pretty well elevated. Obviously, they have to use crutches. You can hear them coming from a mile away: first, the clink of crutches, then the �thud� of the rubber lift. They�re getting paid $1.000 for the study, but I don�t think I�d leave a leg to the ruin of neglect for that sum. Perhaps if I really needed the money, but I�m doing okay salarywise at Telemarketing Town, and First national bank of Mom is going to cut me a small (maybe $500) loan out of the home equity loan. There are actually very few outlandish things I�d do for money at this point in my life. Anyway, it�s weird to come in to work, and find 5-7 people with one leg appearing dramatically shorter than the other.

Wednesday is culinary experimentation night. Should this Wednesday�s project of Thai Coconut Chicken (or maybe shrimp) go well, expect a recipe posted. I�d write more, but frankly, I�m starving and I can�t eat an apple and type at the same time. Ciao.

Behave yerself!

2005-06-15 / 1:51 p.m.

The parking lot security guard where I work is annoyingly nice. I always feel bad when people irritate me just by being genial, but this man is about to push me to that point. And, to be fair, it would probably be endearing if I wasn�t already all lethargy and frowns in anticipation of work. He�s kind of a bumbling older man, cheesy and artificial, and inescapable. No matter how far away from his post I try to pass on my way in, he always greets me. Loudly. Furthermore, he seems to have exactly two greetings that he uses on me. The new game is to guess which one he�ll pick each morning when I come in: either �Yer behavin� yerself, aren�t yeh?� or �Yeh ain�t drinkin� on the job, are yeh? Hur hur hur.� (as I carry Stanley the water bottle in to work every day). It doesn�t matter what I answer these with, as he just smiles and laughs anyway. It was cute at first, but after a week, I wish he�d get some new material.

Currently at CasaRoger, doing laundry. My original plan was to retrieve the light from his porch, as his departed roommate said I could have them if I wanted. Unfortunately, I'm too short to pirate outdoor d�cor today, and these boys have no semblance of a step ladder. Listening to Roger�s MP3s has lead me to the conclusion that Bright Eyes is lot better than I thought, though �Perfect Sonnet� still makes me want to jab a seafood fork into my ears. Also, please note that I said, �better than I thought� and not �good.� Unexpected things on Roger�s playlist: Puddle of Mudd, �Carry on my Wayward Son,� that "seein' red" song, and the �O Verona� reprise from the second Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. Go figure. All things considerd (except maybe puddle of mudd), Roger�s taste in music appears to be very good. Too bad he�s too much of a jackass to burn MP3s for others. He also tends to forget to burn a copy of Bryter layter even when he offers to.

Speaking of music, I heard this local guy on a local program on public radio the other day, and I was really impressed with the few tunes I caught before I had to get out of the car. His name was John Poucher. He was all mellow and folksy and played the guitar really well. By any chance, has anyone heard of him? Opinions? He has a show a week from Friday, and Roger and I are going. Roger probably forgot that he said he would, but that�s not my problem.

without further ado, here�s how I made my counterfeit chicken cordon bleu. I wanted to make real chicken cordon bleu (not the fried kind, the good kind), but my chicken breasts were to thin to bother trying to butterfly, and it would be hopeless to try to wrap them around anything. I remembered my mom making something like this once, so I found a recipe on the Internet and adapted it. It was pretty easy, and would be fairly inexpensive if you substituted good deli ham for the fancy prosciutto. Also, this recipe makes a lot of sauce, so judge amount needed by how big your chicken breasts are

Ingredients:
• 8 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (I used the frozen, 98% fat free ones, and it was lovely)
• 8 slices prosciutto
• 8 slices Swiss cheese (I got Boar�s head Gold Medal).
• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
• 1 cup fat-free sour cream (light or regular would work, but the sauce was very rich with fat free, and I don�t think it was lacking)
• about a 1/2 cup white wine, adjust to taste�I added an extra splash.
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• seasoned bread crumbs. The original recipe suggests stuffing mix, but we had bread crumbs around the house, and the worked fine.
  
  Directions:Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly spray a 9x13 (or whatever size you need) baking dish with cooking spray. Lay the chicken breasts in, cover with one slice of prosciutto, then one slice of cheese. In a medium bowl combine the soup, sour cream, wine, garlic powder, parsley, salt and pepper. Mix well and pour mixture over chicken/ham/cheese pieces. Top all with the bread crumbs. The recipe said to cook until the juices ran clear�but that�s asinine--you can�t possibly puncture this to see if its done without making a big fucking mess. I cooked really thin pieces of chicken, and it was perfectly done about 45 minutes. Estimate, people.