I was in the middle of a dream about being a sommelier when the cat woke me up with a hairball

2006-04-15 / 5:44 p.m.

It is healthier to drink little or no alcohol. In place of drinking alcohol, try drinking: vegetable juice, sparkling fruit juice, plain fruit juice, water, club soda, fruit punches
-- Pamphlet from the American Cancer Society I picked up at Subway.

In other news, I am panicking about everything I have due between the second and the third of May. (2 research papers, 1 fluffy paper). PANIC PANIC PANIC.

But hey! Tomorrow I�m looking at a sublet in the lovely Decatur where they will allow my wonderful little kitty cat! This was a pleasant surprise, since almost everyone else I called that advertised a temp. lease or sublet basically hung up on me when I asked about the possibility of maybe bringing a sweet, well behaved cat. I also called a gym about 2 miles away from where I�ll be working that said they could hook me up with a three month membership for 30$ a month. That makes me as happy as something involving exercise can.

I can�t finish this update now, I�m getting too wrapped up in reading anncoulter.com.

If I won the lottery, I think I�d go to culinary school. I�d learn to be a hot shot sommelier or dessert chef or chocolatier or something like that.

Question for the forum: what�s an old commercial from sometime in your youth that has stuck in your head pretty soundly? For instance, I find that every time someone says, �says who?� I want to respond with, �says 2XL!� Which is from a commercial for a robot with a tape deck inside that was re-made in the early 90�s. Crap, and what about my buddy? That�s a hell of an annoying jingle.

you should know that the rest of the entry was written about three days after the first.

So I went to VcV. It definitely had it�s fun moments, but I missed out on something not drinking it up. I was so exhausted, I knew I wanted to drive home that night so I only had one holy Dixie cup. I also spilled about half of it down my shirt�too much zeal slamming back the shot for the little plastic cup. I got to hang out with some cool people that I haven�t seen in ages, and maybe they�ll play with me when I live in Decatur this summer. (it�s almost a sealed deal that I�ll be living in D-town). I also got to see Hillary and Bruce, which was very nice. I wish they�d be in town longer!

I also stopped home for awhile, which was nice. Mom got me some easer stuff, including my absolutely favorite Easter treat: a big dark chocolate bunny. I was so excited! Unfortunately, my Easter dreams were dashed when he melted in the car on the way back. She also bought a print at the Dogwood festival and gave it to me�it�s by an artist that my parents discovered when they lived in Miami. We have another of his paintings in the house, but I hate that one. This one is lovely, I�ll take a picture of it soon. It�s currently in an ugly frame, but I�ll by a nicer one at some point.

yee haw

2006-04-08 / 8:15 p.m.

I got the job!!

Now alls I need is a place to stay over the summer. Pref. someplace I can keep my kitty. I really think finding a cheap-o room somewhere will be better than the cost of commuting--which is high because of gas, and also because of the less concrete cost to my sanity.

Hazmat

2006-04-02 / 10:56 p.m.

I�ve got a metric fuckton of work I should be doing, but I�m tired enough that I�m not producing anything good, so I might as well give up and write a journal entry. Besides, it�s too nice to be cooped indoors working. The little pocket of rain that just passed over has cooled everything off, and it�s a nice night to sit on the porch with the laptop and punch out an entry over a bottle of beer. Tried two beers for the first time since last entry: Sweetwater 420 (which I probably had before, but forgot about) and Stella Artois. Neither are bad, I like the Stella Artois better. But, of course, I know nothing about beer. I think of beer in several categories: Nasty Beer (Steel Reserve, Sweetwater Blue), Cheap Crappy Beer fit for summer slouching (Southpaw, trashy light beers), Beer that costs more than Southpaw that I enjoy (Honey Brown, 420, Stella Artois, Guinness), and Newcastle. Anyway, back to where I was�I�m almost done with what�s due for the beginning of the week anyway. After these assignments, I think the pain and struggle of final papers will consume most of my time.

The recent improvement in the weather has lifted my base mood about 80%, though it�s caused a severe decline in my desire to get anything schoolish done. I feel like the poster child for seasonal affective disorder. Roger and I ate lunch at the botanical gardens and it was great. It is a little muggy, and I let the spring creep up on me without buying a new fan to replace the piece of crap one that broke and was subsequently thrown out a few months ago. Fan woes aside, I gladly trade the discomfort of cold weather for the discomfort of warm weather.

Last week I had two interviews�one with my absolute-super-first-choice-wow internship and another with my close second choice. I�d really be very happy with either. I really can�t gauge well how they went. Updates on this soon, I guess. Unless I don�t get either�if that happens, I�ll be so sad that I withdraw from society and only engage in discussion with the cat.

Roger suggested today that someone create an All-Steroid Baseball League. This has just been an enterprising weekend for Roger I guess. Yesterday he came up with an even better idea. Some long term readers may remember me quoting from �Plan Hometalk and Medical Common Sense� by Dr. E.B. Foote (see entry �It�s not a toomah!�). It�s an old medical advice book from the 1870�s, and it�s hilarious. And actually, pretty forward thinking sometimes, particularly in regards to women...in a weird way. Roger suggested that explore what it would take to have selections from it re-published. Preliminary research shows that the company that published it probably hasn�t existed for a few years, and I can�t seem to figure out if it was absorbed into another publishing company or just dissolved. You may not think that sounds like a great idea, but that�s just because you�re either A) stupid or B) haven�t seen the beauty that is Foote�s chapter on �Nymphomania in women� (his cure involves electroshock. Incidentally, so does his cure for impotency)

I had a bunch of crazy dreams the last few nights that I wanted to write about, but have since forgotten them all. Well, all except the nightmares about bedbugs, which are almost daily, sadly enough.

Man, I really want that internship.

For giggles, I've been taking a little stuffed bunny with me on errands and excursions. I'm particularly ammused by today's silliness

On a related note, I just realized I can use photos from my flickr page on my website!

Since my last entry, I saw �Howl�s Moving Castle� and finally saw �Spirited Away.� I really enjoyed both of them, but I thought Howl�s Moving Castle was super awesome. And this weekend, I�m hosting a social event centered around the screening of R. Kelly�s �Trapped in the Closet.� It should be fun. And boozy.

I will leave you with another passage from Dr. Foote�s wise tome.

On why husbands and wives should sleep together:
From five to eight hours of bodily contact in every twenty-four with one person not only causes an equalization of those magnetic elements which [�] produce physical attraction and passionate love, but it also promotes permanent uncongeniality by making the married pair grow alike physically. The interchange of individual electricities and the absorption of each other�s exhalations �[are] one of the chief reasons why a husband and a wife manifest such a tendency to grow alike after years of matrimonial companionship.

.

ooooooooooooooo

2006-03-31 / 9:04 p.m.

New entry is in the works, but not tonight. Now is time for being sociable with other human beings. I just wanted to post an offensive link I saw on N. Black's livejournal. Click to see what a douchebag racist Boortz is. Also, just for misanthropy fun, here is some awesome and tasteful douchebag apparel.

Oh, and also, everytime I see some asshole with one of those bluetooth-stuck-to-your-ear phones walking around, I want to kick him in the teeth. That's all.

Don't forget to set your clocks forward tonight. .... .. . ...Ha ha ha! April Fool's! Daylight Savings time doesn't start until Tuesday.




Yeah, I know it wasn't funny.

monkey mind

2006-03-23 / 11:49 p.m.

Guster Syndrome (gŭs�tər sĭn�drōm): When a song that initially sounds really happy and joyous, but is actually neither happy nor joyous once you pay attention to the lyrics.

The other day, I was listening to The Postal Service �give up� in the car, and�Were they formerly loved by the indie kid crowd? Or are they just not super-mainstream-radio-popular? I guess if they ever were, they aren�t now, because they�re playing in my car and I don�t know �indie� music from my ass. At any rate, for those who aren�t familiar, their songs are peppy with a lot of keyboard synthesizer�kind of almost synthpop, but with more lyrical singing in my opinion, maybe like a brooding lovesick freezepop. Whatever, I know about as much about synthpop as I know about indie music popularity. ANYWAY ��We Will Become Silhouettes� off said album gets the Guster Syndome Pick of the Week.� There I was the other day, (here�s where I go back to where I started the story), bobbing along to this happy sounding song: it�s got a peppy synthesizer loop, the beat is probably about quarter note=160 and it just sounds cheery. Then I listen to the lyrics and laugh, because they are creepy. Fun verse:
Because the air outside will make
Our cells divide at an alarming rate
Until our shells simply cannot hold
All our insides in
And that's when we'll explode
doo doo doo, doo doo doo
(And it won't be a pretty sight)
Nice, guys. Nice.

No time for a real update. : ( a few tidbits for the bored though. I got an interview! It�s next week. It�s scary, because there�s a case study involved and I have no notion of how to deal with that. Academically, it seems like the fan will continue to be pelted with the proverbial shit until the end of the semester. Finally, if I end up getting this internship or another like it in the Atlanta area, I�m toying with the idea of renting/subletting an apartment there from May until August. This is contingent on being chosen for a position that pays well enough for me to sustain two leases, but it�s possible. At least I�d save on gas. Any Atlanta folks who read this know anyone who wants to summer sublet? Lastly, has anyone who uses gmail noticed a lag in their incoming messages? Oh, and I beat Roger at Smash Bros. Melee like a bazillion times this week. The end

arena sancta

2006-03-18 / 1:15 a.m.

Back from my trip to Florida with Roger. Everything back at the homestead seemed to be in its proper order, except that Lucy managed to open the freezer again. This is the second time the cat has managed to ruin a freezer full of food, and I don�t understand it. Perhaps she's mad that I forgot her birthday (observed). The trip though, it was wonderful�exactly what I wanted, just when I needed it. Lovely. Perfect. When I close my eyes, I can still see a big golden moon reflecting on the ocean. I also took extra care to commit the feeling of wet sand between my toes to memory for a rainy day. I uploaded some photos to my flickr page, though they�re sloppily ordered. Now it�s time for sleeping. I�m exhausted. Probably more words in a few days.

edit: Everyone keeps asking me where they can get a link to my flickr site. Scroll down and check the sidebar under my picture. It's such a neat little graphic thingie that I thought people would notice it. Didn't I mention it when I put it on my template in the first place? Step off the short bus and take a look.

Edit 2:Oh, KaPow. I got a hit from someone searching, "Spring break tits". I totally win

There's a real entry below this

2006-03-12 / 11:40 p.m.

Cool Spring Break Ideas from Brio magazine!!!

• Clean stuff
• Praise God
• Hang out with old people.

You see what school has reduced me to? I'm reading family.org to avoid working on my finance paper. Sad.

el cielo ex nihilo

2006-03-10 / 11:32 p.m.

Spring break officially starts for me today, and I�ve got so much crap to do. Fortunately, I will be getting the fuck out of dodge at approx. 5:30am Wednesday. Rain or shine, cold or hot, Roger and I are going to the Amelia Island/Fernandina Beach area. My hopes are that the weather is warm and that there are few to no shitty coed spring breakers. Though maybe if the area is infested with college students, I could get my big chance to be on Girls Gone Wild!!! Woooo! Spring Break!!! Tits!!! Yeah!!!!

Other than that, there isn�t much to say. I�m really burned out on school right now; when I�m not plowing through tons of work, I�m begging for internship experience. Honestly, I�m losing track of all the places where I�ve applied. Three (3) local governments, with one (1) more long shot in the works, three (3) kind of performance audit/research/oversight agencies, and one (1) big blanket program. I�ve got one more place I should be applying to, and have just been too lazy to go ahead and do it. I have heard back from exactly none (0) of these places, though there is one I�m 99% sure I�ve been rejected from, and one that I know I wasn�t in the first round of rejections. Sigh, we will see. I�m beginning to wonder what I will do if I don�t get one this summer. My options are as follows: I can look for and take a non-paying one somewhere in town and work a second job, I can get one in the fall and commute to school three times a week, I can extend my degree another semester (without funding), or I can throw in the towel and get a real job. The future is hazy, ask again later.

The wind is blowing so hard, it�s making the vertical blinds swish around.

Later that week�Today, Friday, I went back to the oral surgeon for a follow up on my teefies. Want to hear something gross? The spot where it�s felt like there�s something stuck between my gum and teeth is a bone shard lodged under my gum. I could have it removed, but it will most likely work itself out through the gum Ga-ross.

In closing: Santino, you were robbed. Judges: �We hated all the zany stuff you did on the show, and told you it sucked and that you should take it down a notch. Look at all these elegant and refined clothes that you made for the finals! They are too nice! Where are the feathers and hyper-German undies?!� Ugh, and Chloe? I mean, she�s okay, but in the end both Nick and Andrae as well as the other two finalists are better designers than she is.

Man, these have been so dull lately. I don�t have a knack for writing cryptically or poetically, so there�s no question as to whether they�re really dull or not�this is just plain not fun to read. Hopefully my post-vacation entry will be full of whimsy and photos and sordid tales of sex and vice from the city of sin�Fernandina beach.

I've got nothing to say. I've been talking to cats all day.

John Rhys-Davies as Gimli

2006-02-26 / 11:26 p.m.

Hi there. I am the freaking super hero of oral surgery. I got my teeth out yesterday (this was started Friday), and I was fine from the second I woke up. I was (and still am) thrilled that it wasn�t a terrible experience. From the advice I solicited, I expected to sleep the remainder of the day away at the very best�but this did not happen, and I spent the better part of the day shopping with my mother. I mean, there�s some pain�I can�t make silly faces, or open my mouth very wide, or eat tacos, or purse my lips, but I�m generally pretty okay.

The worst part was definitely the sedation. I don�t know exactly why, but it terrified me. I got nitrous oxide first, and then some sleepy cocktail via IV that knocked me out more or less completely. The gas bothered me right off, it was like being drunk when I didn�t want to be. Granted, when I stopped fighting it, it was pretty relaxing. But the first minute or so was like being drunk and trying to pay attention to everything. The stuff that made me sleep scared me too. Meck.

When I woke up, I was still pretty drunky feeling, but in a good way. The office insists that you leave in a wheelchair, which is silly, but whatever. Even though I could walk fine, the nurse told me to sit in the wheelchair and wait for whatever. The combination of being more-lucid-than-average but still being affected by the drugs made me a little silly, so I took the brake off and did 360's in the hallway and it was terrifically fun. The nurse caught me, but didn't seem to want to chastize me after surgery, so I was allowed to do this until I was wheeled to the car.

Now, Sunday, my main concerns are foodstuffs lodged in my delicate little tooth holes.

The next two weeks may be the most stressful of the year, amplified by the fact that I have 0 enthusiasm for any of the assignments that I have to work on. That said, I think Roger should take me somewhere fun for a vacationette during the tail end of Spring break�.don�t you think?

I�m bummed, I don�t think I�m being considered for my tippy tip top top top internship choice. I was eavesdropping during Saturday�s seminar and I heard a fellow student talking about them inviting her back for a second interview. Despite my flippant use of the phrase, tippy tip top top top, I am actually choking on my own disappointment. I mean, it�ll be okay�but what a bummer.

Words that I wish I had occasion to use more often:
• replete
• insipid
• restorative.

Not much else news. Roger�s a red n� black belt now and his test was moderately awesome to watch; I got my third piece of broken board. My own ninja career is kind of retarded, not unlike the time I took beginning ballet as a senior in college. Still, I�m having fun destroying with the feet and punching with the fists. Today, I went to the Sunday playtime to try to learn what I missed last week. The whitebelts learned the first form while I was away�which is pretty much some choreographed punching and blocking. It turns out that even after 17 and a half years of education, it�s possible to not know your right from your left. Go figure.

Okay, it�s evident I�m just putting off going to bed. Tomorrow, its crunch time. Now though, it�s sleep time.

Finish him!

2006-02-21 / 12:12 a.m.

Wow, this has been a very, very, long day. Currently on the break in the middle of Finance class. Fidgety from sitting in classes for the past 4ish hours and starving. Despite having my laptop and wireless internet right in front of me, I�ve paid attention pretty much the whole time. That�s quite an accomplishment when discussing the evolution of the federal budget formats. Time for a brief update!

Saturday, I went to Roger's ninja tournament. It was cool to watch, and it made me wish that I could play too, and get trophies for kicking people. Roger did well: Bronze medal and a trip to nationals. Nationals means that now he can continue talking about the interesting* details of tournament preparation all the time until July. There are actually more relevant details about the tournament, but I�ll leave him to tell you those.

Roger had the unfortunate luck to be matched against Goro, who really is�surprisingly enough�only a blue belt.

After the tournament, Roger's parents took us out for Thai, and then it got late. I went back to Athens, he went home to mayretta, but he ended up coming back due (at least in part) to my bitching about being alone and bored for the second weekend night in a row. We agreed that he would come back, and I would gather movie and mixers. By the time we reached this stage though, I realized I was getting tired. While browsing the selection at Kroger, I decided to try one of those energy drinks. Diet Full Throttle tastes and feels like a handful of electrified gummy bears, but it certainly did the trick. And then some. Caffeine doesn't usually effect me that much; I'm a regular coffee drinker and I enjoy it, but I certainly don't need it. But this stuff? I was wired, probably a little too wired, but whatever. Suddenly it was 3:30! Where did the time go?!

I made a scheduling boo boo this week: wisdom teeth in Mayretta early morning Thursday, all-day hell seminar in Athens Saturday morning. This may not seem like a big deal, but this seminar is important�as in a requirement to graduate. It�s also been on my calendar for months. Can I do both? Sure, probably! Do I want to? Hello no! The only thing worse than one of these boring seminars is probably sitting through one with an aching fat face. This morning, I got clearance to do it next year, but that decision would not put me in good graces with some important people. Important people who I called and bothered this morning. Several times.

Well, that�s about all for now. Keep your fingers crossed that a horrible flesh-eating bacteria doesn�t invade my mouth during my very first, albeit very minor, surgery. And, just in case your crossed fingers do have some sort of supernatural control over the future, make Em0ry accept Roger. Also, please send me the answers to my finance midterm. Oh, and give my cat the ability to pick the winning lotto numbers. Thanks!


*not actually interesting

are the contents fragile, perishable, or ducks?

2006-02-12 / 11:50 a.m.

I had a dream last night that my old internet chum and page designer extraordinaire, Lee posted an encouraging entry to my diary for me, urging me not to go so long without posting on my page, and to keep writing, because I was the most awesome in the world. He also posted that he had mailed me a baby duckling as a present; I was distraught because a baby duck is liable to die in transit when mailed USPS ground. Then I woke up. Great story, huh? I took it as an omen that I should post.

I interviewed with the G@0 this week, it went okay. Actually, what happened is that I left the interview ecstatic because I didn�t do anything disastrous�I didn�t accidentally say anything insulting, no one fell down, no one was ravaged by wild dogs�so it exceeded my expectations of how my first real interview would go. However, as the day progressed and I mulled over the interview, I didn�t really do all that well. There were a couple of questions where I scraped to come up with some stupid answer, only to realize later that I really had a good answer I could have given. Oh well, +3 for no wild dogs.

After la entrevista, I went to an oral surgeon to have my emergent wisdom tooth looked at. I�m teething! He and I, by way of a discussion filled with oral doomsday prophesies, decided that I will have my top two removed and leave Mr. Bottom Tooth alone. My fourth wisdom tooth has actually been granted invisibility powers, and cannot be seen by x-ray; its removal would be out of the question. So yay.

Bands that everyone thinks are awesome, but in reality are not that great:

The Killers

Coldplay

U2 from the year 2000 to current date.

Bright Eyes�who I have given numerous tries, and just don�t enjoy.

My tax refund was actually more than double digits this year. Most of it is going to go to new tires and paying towards my sizeable credit card bills, but I decided I deserved something fun so I bought an ipod mini on eBay. I still want a big ole� MP3 player to put everything on, but I realized that I wanted a small one more�to listen to when going to bed, in the car if I have to commute all fucking summer, and most of all to have at the gym.

That�s about all, because this is pretty boring. The only reason I don�t update is that my life is so ridiculously boring. I�m almost looking forward to having a job this summer. Time to go finish my application to another one. Chau.

I spent 10 minutes trying to think of a clever title that wasn't the obvious one for this entry. I failed.

2006-01-29 / 11:00 p.m.

In case any of you were living under a rock, you should know that there�s a movie coming out about an assassin who looses a crate of snakes on a transcontinental airline flight. As if the mere description didn�t conjure up enough terror, they�re going to call it�wait for it.....SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!! (emphasis mine, but really implicit in the name of the movie, so whatever). Roger, EK, our new friend Mike and I have been making fun of this incessantly all weekend. Whenever something mildly exciting or unusual happens, the new game should be to shout, �SNAKES ON A PLANE!� Rumor has it that BadassMuthafucker Samuel L. Jackson (the star) really pushed for the title, but I don�t know if that�s true or not. (and I don�t blame him if he did! SNAKES ON A PLANE! AWESOME!). When I read that, I thought it was made up, but wikipedia doesn�t debunk it, so we�ll see. SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Now, a haiku:

Ah! Snakes on a Plane!
Save us, Samuel L. Jackson!
There�s SNAKES on this PLANE!!!

I saw an electric sign at ramsey advertising a giant slide today, so Roger, Mike and I went to check it out. It wasn�t giant,but an inflatable slide leading from the diving platform (even if it�s the lowest one) is pretty damned cool. They also had the higher springboard open which was also terrifically fun, and kinda� scary. I officially acted like a six year-old all day.

This breathtaking immaturity began pretty much as soon as I woke up. Roger had to go to meditation this morning, only this time it wasn�t his meditation group thingy, it was like a primer on how to sit still in the proper way and such. I decided to tag along, and I'm glad I did. It was interesting and informative, but�I don�t know what was wrong with me�every thought that came into my head seemed hilarious, and it was disappointing to have to keep all the absurdity inside for a whole hour. The man leading the group talked about distracting thoughts, and all I could think of was, "SNAKES ON A PLANE! What thought could be more distracting than snakes on a plane!? Or more horrifying?! SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!" And don�t even get me started on my reaction to "the blow of compassion."

This really captures the absurdity of it, I think.

I�ve started to apply for summer internships, and I�m super anxious about it. I need to get one this summer to graduate on time, and I need a good one. So far all the places I�m applying to are pretty popular for people in my program, and I don�t see how I have any sort of edge on the rest of the pool. I�d be willing to aim lower (I don�t want to, I�d be willing) but I don�t know where to aim! I need something in the Athens-Atlanta area, because I�ll have to be commuting. I need something that pays, and will give me some good resume fodder. I�d really prefer something that I�d enjoy and doesn�t make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. So far, my top choices are Gwinnett, Govt. acc0untability Office, Decatur and Govna�s internship program (even though the latter doesn�t pay all that well). Other than that, I�m biding my time, and waiting for updated job postings to come through the department. I�m really psyched about all the ones I�m applying for, but not super confident that I�m a strong contender. Sigh. I guess that was a pretty boring paragraph. You know what it needs? ... . .. . .. .. . . � SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!