How the cranberries saved Thanksgiving

2002-11-28 / 10:10 a.m.

Ug....This holiday is sucking thus far. Usually, my penchant for gluttony makes this an absolutely beautiful day, but I just can't get in that mood today. Getting on the scale yesterday, discovering that I gained a lot of weight back really killed that mood.

Because of this, and because my cousins are pretty annoying, I'm not too psyched about going over there. I know what it's going to be like. I'll be asked to help clean something, or set the table, or prepare some food product because I'm a woman without arthritis to complain about. While that progresses, I can answer fun questions about College and my future and my love life. Then, several days later, I'll be included in the inter-family gossip. I worry That, after several years of telling them that I'm not seeing anyone--whether this is true or not--that they're going to think I'm a lesbian... truth be told, I think it might be a little funny if the did think that. I get the feeling they wouldn't react well to it. I have a 50-something cousin who I swear is gay, and everyone just seems to ignore it and pretend she's just been single for a long time. And actually, I'm pretty sure she isn't even single anymore...but anyway, I digress.

The greatest tradgedy of this Thanksgiving is ::sniffle:: our local PBS stations (who suck) havn't picked up the DCI finals this year. Aahhhhhhhhhhh! I'm so mad. PBS viewers in other cities get to watch it, but not me. That sucks hosewater, man. That's my big tradition, and now I'm breaking it after a mere 4 years. I'm bummed, man....really bummed.

I'm half-heartedly watching the Macy's parade, but Its making me feel old. Many of the balloons and floats are of cartoons I've never even seen. Awwww now, and that isn't even a real character--that's the mascot for macaroni and cheese. Corporate mascots are lame, man. I like it better when corporations just sponsor neat floats, and not make giant balloons of their dumb mascots (coughcoughJeevescough) I'm still holding out breathlessly for a Dora display. The Wiggles frighten me. a lot. I'm watching their float now. My mother quotes: "They're so gay. They're worse than those other things-look at them wiggle their hips!"

Well, that's all for now. I gotta get dressed and make some cranberry relish. mmmm craaanberry rellliiiissshhh. It's so good, it might save this thanksgiving :) That should a family made-for-TV movie..."How the cranberry relish saved Christmas"